An idi0tic Entrance#
Keppelky checked his watch, sighing. The Amirlithic army had lined up a contigent of ships in voidspace, observing the anomalous object - though most of the soldiers had correctly interpreted ‘observe’ as ‘destroy’. They had all been waiting for a starter’s pistol that was either several hours late or not there at all. Keppelky had joined up with the expedition for action, not loitering around next to some random cube in the Void.
The cube in question was at least somewhat interesting. Keppelky had been staring at it for most of the intervening time. The ship’s sensors visualized it as a titanic object some one and a half million kilometres wide, made from an unknown metal. It drifted slowly through the metaphysical space of the Void, doing absolutely nothing. Yet of course, Amirlithic higher-ups had decided it had to be monitored.
Just as Keppelky was considering turning around and returning to Seronveth Base, the cube on the screen shook. His eyes rapidly snapped towards the dashboard, hands flying across the panels and into ready position. He felt the ship’s subtle vibration as his senses flowed into that combative zen.
“All ships on alert!” blared the General through the communications system. Thankfully, the message could travel with haste through the small metaphysical distance between the ships.
Eyes glued to the screen, Keppelky watched as the cube’s vibration stopped and a panel on it’s surface retracted, revealing a pulsing blue glow.
Each ship in the fleet also began emitting a matching light, that of a standard energy shield used on dimensional ships. From within the cube, another smaller cube emerged, bathed in the light of the energy shield. The new cube, presumably some form of dimensional vessel, stopped just away from the previous cube and exited the cube’s reality. The fleet collectively swapped their displays to visualize the new proto-reality generated around the ship.
A crackling noise spawned from the comms panel, and a new voice splintered out of it.
“Good day, Agbe-lit - nope - Amberlith-ik soldiers. I, am David Kim.”
Keppelky looked at the panel in confusion. Had the cube ship… hacked into the comms network?
Amirlithic technology was state of the art, premium quality, military grade. Only the Architect faction surpassed them. What could possibly breach their systems?
“David Kim,” the General’s voice echoed, as Keppelky turned back to the display screen. “I am going to need you and your little cube to pack up and- “
“DO NOT INSULT THE COOB.”
The voice of David Kim blared out like the decree of an Immortal, seeming to transcend the dimensional barriers between the ships and rattle their hulls regardless of the petty laws of metaphysics. Keppelky heard the pipes in the hull shake as volatile aura fuel slurry sprang about in nonsensical patterns, as if stampeding away from the sound. The panels and displays of the cockpit flickered unstably.
“As I was saying,” Kim’s voice reasserted itself. “I am David Kim of the new corporate empire of idi0cy․inc. I am here for assurances.”
“You - son of a - can’t - ” the General attempted to get a few words in, but Kim seemed to have acquired priority.
“Yes, I most certainly can. No profanity please, the Narrator is submitting this one to a school assignment.”
His words hung in the air. School assignment? Narrator? Keppelky thought in confusion. Whatever idi0cy․inc was, they had not sent a very good negotiator. Leaning forward over the control panel, Keppelky’s fingers tensed over the dials and buttons.
“Allow me to clarify. I am here to give assurances, not to get them. The Coob and the surrounding voidspace has become the territory of idi0cy․inc. Attempt to revert this, and you shall suffer the wrath of the Narrator. Which you may receive regardless, as it would be funny.”
Unable to receive orders from the General, the fleet was growing increasingly tense. The tension was broken when the ship sensors detected an Amirlithic projectile transcending dimensional barriers and speeding towards the cube ship. It hit the shield, which rippled and settled back into place. Keppelky winced, knowing that the perpetrator would likely be reprimanded.
“Anyway,” Kim drawled. “You all have thirty seconds to vacate the area before the Coob blasts you to smithereens.”
None of the ships moved, until an aura blasted out from the Coob. The power within was indescribable, seeming to transcend the Void itself. Keppelky seemed to have awakened a new sense altogether as the aura shredded at his soul. His hands flashed across the control panel in natural instinct to turn the ship right around as countless of the fleet followed, fleeing from the almighty Coob, attempting to block out the sounds and sights and smells flashbanging his senses.
He ran and ran and ran, until the rest of the fleet was no longer in comm vicinity and the Coob was long gone. He would be content to rest there in the endless Void for the rest of his days, as long as he would never see the Coob again.